8 Ways to Make It Through When It All Falls Apart
Hello friends! How has your year been so far? I know I came into 2021 thinking that I would get everything back on track, and I feel as though I have had one life event happen after another for both my family and me. In regular times I would jump on a flight and be with them in person, but that’s not an option anymore. I can’t just go home when I would like, so what do I do? How do I process my feelings and these events when I’m on the other side of the world? These eight things have helped me get through the beginning part of this year, and I know I’m not alone. I hope they help you too.
Breathe
Recognize what scents you like and use them
Get on social media
Validate your feelings
Read a fiction book
Focus on something with detail
Find something to look forward to
Settle into the routine of the day
Breathe
This may seem obvious but do we take time for this? I know I didn’t before I got my Apple Watch which reminds me three times a day. When I get my reminder to breathe, I don’t drop everything to do it. It’s kind of impossible with a puppy these days. Instead, I continue what I’m doing, but I focus on my breathing. This moment helps slow down my mind. If you are more of a full meditation person, I highly recommend the app Buddhify. The walking meditations are perfect for those of us on the move.
Recognize what scents you like and use them
The minute I learned that lavender and eucalyptus honestly calm me and balsam motivates me so much changed. When I feel overwhelmed and missing home, I’ll run a bath with some lavender salt or light my lavender candle. Scent is the strongest of the five senses tied to memory. Knowing which scents trigger calmness and peace will help you get to that headspace faster. Also, finding what scents motivate you can help get you into the right mindset to…oh, I don’t know…write a blog post when all you want to do is play with your pup.
Get on social media
Social media has been a fantastic tool to keep me connected with friends and family. When my friend had a gender reveal party, I was able to attend via Facebook Live. Since my Uncle Kenny was admitted to the hospital for Covid, I have stayed up to date on his progress via Facebook updates from his family. Social media can be a powerful tool for connectivity. You don’t need to spend hours on it to feel closer to home and those you love. A quick check-in message of, “Hey, how are things?” or a brief comment on a post of a person you follow on Instagram can reinforce the thought that you are not alone.
Validate your feelings
No matter what it is you are going through, you are correct in your feelings. Don’t pressure yourself to be ok as soon as possible. When my Uncle Wayne, pictured here, passed away in February, I needed at least two days of watching movies and not being productive to process how I felt.
That was valid. Listen to what your body and your emotions are telling you and honor that. Remember, too, that ‘good enough’ is still done. You don’t need to be perfect or feel perfect all the time.
Read a fiction book
Who doesn’t love a bit of escapism? Having a fiction book to turn to while reading a non-fiction book has been a game-changer for me. After a tough mental day, the last thing I want is an intense book about journalists' persecution in another country. Having a fiction book to lose myself in has helped me sleep better and keep my thoughts on a more positive track until I can revisit the other. With all books, timing is everything. Sometimes that book that you couldn’t get into a few months ago because it was too ‘surface’ is precisely what the doctor ordered when going through a tough time.
Focus on something with detail
Whether it’s a new workout, cooking a new dish, painting/coloring, or watching a foreign film where you have to read the subtitles, find something to lose yourself in. I find that this works best in a more direct fashion than a passive activity, i.e., doing the same workout routine you have done twenty times. Think back to the last movie you saw in a movie theatre. Remember that feeling after the film when you walked out, and the lights hit you as you turned your phone back on? Things didn’t seem as overwhelming as before. Taking time to lose yourself in the details of activity can do a lot to bring even more into perspective.
Find something to look forward to
Before the pandemic, here is where I would recommend a weekend trip somewhere; however, things have changed.
Nowadays, looking forward to new releases of a movie, book, or music can be that bright light at the end of the tunnel. A while back, I talked to a consultant about always having something to look forward to on the calendar. She told me how she and her family planned out trips three in advance so that there was still something on the horizon. This helped on those days where she was working late, the kids were in a bad mood, and her husband was traveling for days on end. I love this advice and try always to have a few things marked special in my bullet journal to look forward to.
Settle into the routine of the day
Last but certainly not least is to settle into the routine of the day. Remind yourself that life goes on and you have survived 100% of the worse days of your life. I have a whole nighttime routine that calms me down and gets me into a peaceful state to go to sleep. Having a practice that I can do on autopilot gives me pause to breathe from the moments that need me to be 100% focused. Suppose you don’t have a routine; tap into the plethora of Youtube videos for ideas and find one that works for you where you are. You won’t regret it.
What have you found that works best for you when it feels like it’s falling apart? This year doesn’t look like it’s going to let any of us off the hook. The more we invest in our mental health now, the better off we will be when we need to tap into that the most. No matter what, remember that you are enough, and if you ever need a friend, you have one right here.
