Facing Fears on the Rapids of Patagonia
Northern Patagonia is unlike anywhere else I have ever been. This week I found myself in Puerto Varas in the Los Lagos (The Lakes) region of Chile. It has the laid back feeling of Hawai’i with the lake's expansive views on one side and mountain ranges peppered with volcanoes on the other. German immigrants founded the city, and they brought with them their architecture, food, and language. When you are walking downtown, you feel transported out of Chile and to another land entirely.
Puerto Varas is a small town and, since I was there for a week, I was looking for something exciting to add to my itinerary. The hotel I was staying at - Hotel AWA - had an incredible experience coordinator named Paulina. She knew all the things to do, the best days to them, and is possibly the most connected woman in the region. She reached out to me to see what my plans were for the week. When I told her I was hoping she could help me put something together, she immediately suggested white water rafting. I shuttered. I have had a deep-seated fear of water since I was little. Any activities ON the water, i.e., boat riding, I am game for, but if there is a small chance that I have to be IN the water, I panic. I explained my fear of water to her. Paulina reassured me that I would do just fine. She explained how the rivers here are vast and when she goes rafting, she likes to jump in the water and swim next to the raft. I felt reassured and decided to give it a go.
On Thursday morning, I was picked up in a large van with a quiet group and taken to the base camp for Ko’Kayak. The first question I was asked was if I spoke Spanish. I nodded my head - the universal sign of yes.
Our group crowded around a raft for a safety demonstration. I quickly realized that I don’t know the words for lifejacket or paddle, or a host of other water activity related words. Fortunately, I am really good at charades, though, and I was able to follow along. We were fitted for wetsuits, jackets, shoes, and helmets in a huge old barn. After a quick Superman -esq change, we were all back in the van headed to the river.
When we arrived, I was energized. I was in Patagonia after all! Plus, my sister messaged me before I left to say that white water rafting in Patagonia is on her bucket list - she has the best taste in things to do while traveling. The van dropped us off at a large opening in the river, where we carried the raft down to the water as a team. Then we hiked through the woods along the river to another location to get in the raft. This is where my nerves set in. Walking along with class three rapids, hearing the roar of the water hitting the rocks, made my stomach jump up into my throat. Did I really want to do this?
When we reached the clearing, I was still feeling uncertain and took a spot in the middle of the raft to give the more confident folks the front row seat. We pushed off to the words of our guide, yelling, “Adelante!” (Forward!) over the rapids. We were off. The first few moments were not that bad, then water hit my face. I have this thing with water being on my eyes, and here I was in a place where I could not let go of my paddle to wipe it off. I had to keep moving with my team. I vigorously moved my head side to side, and…it worked! It was fine! One fear accomplished! As we paddled onward, I felt my shoulders loosening and my smile growing. This wasn’t as bad as I thought. The excited yells and laughs from my teammates were infectious. The next thing I knew, I was rowing and laughing right along. Everything wasn’t as scary as I thought it was going to be.
Along a stretch of calmer rapids, we beached our raft and were offered the chance to jump off a cliff into the rapids for a photo op. Knowing Spanish but not knowing all water-related words, I thought we were going to the cliff's top for a group photo. When we got there, and the first person jumped, I realized that the word bucear was not a Chilean word for a group photo. I froze. Do I go back down the cliff? Do I face another fear of being not just in water but in rushing rapids? I inched forward as the next person jumped. The guide counted “Uno, dos, tres!“ and the next person jumped. Now it was my turn. I reached out my hand to my guide to show him how badly I was shaking. He grabbed my hand without even looking at it and said, “You have my full support. You can do this”. With that, he began counting. “Uno!” Remember I told myself you have to jump out or you will hit the side of the cliff. No pressure - nervous laugh. “Dos!” If I don’t jump on three, my legs will seize up, and I’ll never do it. Do I want to really chicken out here? “Tres!” I wish I would remember what thought I had to push me, but I don’t. I just jumped. As I was falling, I looked down at the rocks and thought, “I didn’t jump out far enough! I’m going to hit them!” As I plunged into the water, I knew the worse thing to do was panic. I quickly looked up, vigorously shook my head to get the water off my eyes, and made my best Katie Ledecky impression to swim to the shore. Two of my teammates grabbed my hands as I was being pushed further downstream and yelled in congratulations. I jumped. I had conquered another fear.
As we made our way back to the raft, I asked if I could be in the front. I was ready. The rest of the rapids offered views that no language has been able to encapsulate. As much as I wanted to crane my neck in every direction, my attention needed to be on what was ahead. With each splash of water in my face, I laughed louder. With each stroke of my paddle in the water, my smile got bigger. The end came too soon. Before I knew it, we were back at base camp enjoying beers and pizza and laughing about the experience.
Later that day, I kept thinking about what my day would have been if I would have let my fear dictate what I did. Would I have just laid by the water and read? Would I have gone for a walk? Those are both great activities that I love, but they are safe. They are things I know I love to do. White water rafting showed me a new side of myself. A side that looks fear in the eyes and doesn’t back down. That side of me jumped off a cliff! Wow! This is the tone I am taking into the new year. Doing things that the 2020 version of myself would have thought was crazy and smiling through the whole thing.
